Vegetarians, Look Away Now! or Cooking for the Dummy


This evening my missus is away with her mum painting the town red. What better time for cooking experiments?

I should first of all state that my cooking style is best described as For The Dummy, said dummy being me. It’s slapdash and scattershot, but that’s what makes it fun. For me, at least.

Tonight: Meatloaf.

Soundtrack for this mission: Bring Da Ruckus by Wu Tang ClanReady, Steady, Go by Paul Oakenfold; Stepping Out by Kool and the Gang. 

You’ll need:

Lean beef mince, Irish, of course. Just because.


Bramble Apple Pork Sausages.


One egg.

Medium onion.

Two cloves of garlic.

Bread crumbs. Product placement alert!


Tomato puree.

Now then: find yourself a large mixing bowl. Add the mince meat. Chop the sausages to tiny bits and remove the skin. Chop the onions into bits. Crush the garlic.

Independently break and beat the egg, then add.


Add: Paprika, salt, sage, puree and four cherry tomatoes plucked from the vine.

My secret ingredient: green chili. Chili goes with everything in my household.


Mix everything up. This is one of those times you’ll need to use your hands. WASH THEM FIRST!!! CAREFULLY.

You should end up with something like this:


Toss it in the preheated oven for 80 mins.

Side dish: Meat loaf goes with potatoes. And, Ugh! I just found out that I have no potatoes.

Behold! My B team:


Boil these.

While you wait? Play Bioshock: Infinite because YEAH!


Pick up some Belgian cloudy beer. It’s cool.


Serve it up, serve it up!

Happy Saturday Night, all.


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